Recap and lots of Stess

We survived Ohio.  Barely.  I had a wonderful time with my Mom, Husband and kid.
I got my mom drinking :)  Hung out in a hot tub with my friends and drank.  Road a few Water Slides...  and drank.  The whole purpose for going the Kalahari resort was for a dance competition.  A mini Vacation.

I made a new friend in the lobby

Husband found me entertaining 

Rhino..  just because

A bronze Gorilla.

Wave pool...  

Kid in the wave pool

"mom... what are you doing?"

"Don't drop it!  JUST TAKE THE PICTURE!!"

The Kalahari is African themed.  Our beds in the room.  Each bed only had 2 pillows.  so sad

Dessert on the first night.. . most delightful Cheesecake

Even better chocolate peanut butter thing......

The kids just before hitting the stage

My doll.  She worked so hard.  She ended up having several full blown panic attacks that week.  The stress of having to perform for a Grade threw her for a loop.  She didn't want to disappoint anyone and was terrified she would mess up.  Many many trips to the bathroom to throw up and gage... not my ideal vacation but we finally got it out of her.  She was nervous.  

The anxiety issue hasn't stopped either.  We have hit the official busy season - School is ending and she's not getting along with her student teacher.  The final show is coming up, plus the Showcase show and another Competition.  AND... I'm traveling soon.  The poor kid is just so overwhelmed.  

Mornings are the worst but we are getting through it.  Breathing helps and a good cry today seemed to help. I think hormones may have started in as well.  Oh boy.. i'm in trouble.

 

The Walking Pneumonia

It's sort of like the Walking Dead.  There is a very good chance this is what I had when I got back from Virginia.  Now, my kid has it.  Poor kid.  Doc gave her meds and she promptly threw them up.  We'll have to try the meds again tomorrow to see if she can tolerate a smaller dose.

I still don't feel 100% but that is the fun thing about Walking Dea.. er .. Pneumonia.  You can have, not know it.  Function as you normally would sick and it will linger.  Sure, I love to share things with my girl, but not this.

So she is home for one more day.  No Phys Ed until Monday.  No physical exertion this week - meaning No dancing.  A followup in 2 weeks.

All I ask for is that she gets some sleep.

redemption and wine

The kids performed today - 2 shows.  And they listened. They were quiet.  The only issue was the really little ones.. they were tired and were super good for the first show and lost it for the 2nd.  I can't blame them.

And the older kids relaxed a little and we cracked some jokes.  This was good.

Now, I am exhausted.  Work, a doctor's appointment, dress rehearsal, 2 shows and clean up.  WINE!!  And we do it again tomorrow at a Senior's home.  I think I need a vacation.

rules for backstage

I am a backstage Mom.  Not a Stage Mom.  There is a clear difference.  I work backstage to help with the costume changes for all the kids, call the order, make sure they smile, pin and sew when needed, tie toe shoes and tell them when they are mumbling on stage.  Sure.. I praise them but I'll be damned if they go on stage and mumble. My training to put on the best possible show won't let that slide.

I have been in a number of shows in Junior High and High School. Never the star.  I was an understudy.. and  Chorus. Lack of Confidence was my downfall and I always preferred to not talk or be in a crowd.  I helped back stage and even was the student director.  Blocking, calling lines, making sure things can be heard... that's my bag. Making it seem real.  I paint a mean set.

So when my kid got bit with acting/musical theatre bug, we ended up somewhere where I happen to know the studio director.  She was my best friend growing up.  Now she owns her own performace company - not a dance studio.. a performance company.  Singing, acting, dance, play-writing  design...  the whole package.  There is one small problem.  Staffing.  She can't really afford to pay for staff like you normally would.  So the moms and dads help out where they can.  I.. am the Backstage mom.   I call the numbers, help get them ready, keep band-aids  pins and tissues on me. I have been known to yell... at rehearsals.  I use the Mom voice.  Why?  There are 2 basic rules in the theatre that need to be followed.... period.

1) You MUST be quiet in the wings and backstage.  NO TALKING
2) You have to pay attention and move fast. Timing is everything.

There are more but these are the 2 the kids have the hardest time with.  They are pokey and can not for the life of them keep quiet.  Everything is a joke.  I love them all.. but they need to learn this hard lesson.  Many of them want to make performing their career.  If they can't handle these 2 rules, they will never see a call back.

Some of them try and do really well.  Others..  not so much.

I want nothing more for these kids to succeed. And I have to be a hard ass for them to get the idea.  I don't do this because I want to... I do it because I have to.  Discipline is lacking in today's kids. Harsh tones are "cruel" and you hear "why do you have to be so mean"..   Stern is mean and bitchy.  Well you know what, if you did what you were asked to do, I wouldn't need to correct you.  They need to be obedient - the director calls the shots... not you.  Little to the parents know of what happens back stage.  I know some of the kids don't like me.  I know some do. They call me Mom. I have seen many of them improve and get it.  Others do the same antics at every show.  If you don't want to play by the rules don't play.

This weekend we have 3 shows.  Friday 2 are back to back with a dress rehearsal.  1 on Saturday for the Seniors..  I feel like I am wrangling cats.  I think I need that on my shirt "Official Cat Wrangler"

No sweetie, its called Hell.

A delightful conversation with my kid as we drove home from dance last night

Erin:  Mom, do girls go though Puberty?

Me: Yes.  Why?

Erin:  I thought it would be called something different.  

Me: (trying not to laugh).  Nope, same name as the boys.  Some of the same stuff happens too.. hair in funny places.  We get  the whole boob thing and some other stuff too (thinking to myself - please don't ask.. please don't ask...  )

Erin: It must tickle to shave your underarms.....

Oh the joys of being a Mom.

We're not killing Bambi

Me: Erin, can I ask you a question?  What do think about hunting?

Erin: I'd like to go.

Me: Really?

Erin: Yeah.  I really want to go hunting. It would be fun.  

Me: So you are OK with killing animals for meat?

Erin: Yeah.  Killing them for no reason is wrong.  For food is ok.  I'd really like some deer meat.

Me:  You know, some people may tell you that you are killing  Bambi

Erin:  Moooommm.. you don't kill the babies.  There's no meat on them.  That's just wrong.

What the...??!!!

Will someone explain to me what the heck happened to kids today?   Here's the story.

Erin and I went swimming  at the local indoor city pool.  I was swimming width laps and was waiting for Erin to catch up to me.  Two kids, a boy and girl, both maybe 7, were hanging onto the wall going around the parameter.  I was leaning on the wall waiting.  Then I heard "get the hell out of the way".  From the boy.  I turned to him and said "Excuse me?".  He turned red then proceeded to "talk" to his sister ignoring what had happened.

All I hear lately on the playground and on the street are Cussing and verbally abusive language. From 7 and 8 year olds!!   My mother  would have washed my mouth out with soap if I talked like that.  Do these parents not discipline their kids?  I fear for that generation... And heaven forbid I say anything.  I get yelled at by the kids!!  WHAT 10 YEAR OLD IN THEIR RIGHT MIND YELLS AT AN ADULT?!!!!  That's it.  I'm moving to a commune...  Anyone want to join?

NO WAY!!

Yes.. thats me.. in the middle.  CAN YOU BELIEVE IT??  I did a bit on being the Mean mom and setting rules.   25 reads so far....  I'm going to freak out for a min.  thanks.

Kids Today....

We've entered into the realm of BFFs...  and cat fights.. and phone calls.. and tears.  SHE'S NINE!  When I was nine, I was still playing with my Smurf figures and Barbies.  I had a curfew, I had a bedtime.  I had RULES that I needed to follow or there would be hell to pay.  We all knew it.  That is just how it was.

I am raising my kid the same way.  In before its dark (7:30pm now -  as the sun stays up longer, we adjust it).  Bedtime on school nights in 9pm.  Dinner is at around 5:30pm. If its nice out, get out of the house and go play.  There is no sleeping over on school nights.  If I say its time to go home, that means it is time to go home.  Somehow, I am the only mom in the neighborhood that has set these kinds of basic rules.   Yes.. I am that mom who .. enforces the rules.   Most of the girls the kid hangs out with have no bedtime.  I see one drag her sorry butt to the bus stop every morning.  She's out of school more than she is in.. or she's late. One other girl asked Erin to "beg" me to let her go and play when we got home from Dance.  Homework wasn't done, she needed a shower and it was dark already.  It was PAST CURFEW.  She wanted Erin to BREAK THE RULES.  Not to mention this girl was pissed when she called Erin to come over and Erin was out.  Its like "how dare she go play with someone else".. really?  And when she called, it was at 5:20pm.. on normal days, that's dinner time.  Thursdays its time to leave to for Dance.  Did she not understand that Erin couldn't come out to play?  And she called my cell phone 10 times.  And to boot, she never left a message.  Not one.  Do these kids not know phone etiquette? Leave me a freaking message!!

This drama should be occurring in a few years.  Not now.  I am proud of my kid too.  She refused to break the rules. She knew if she did, there would be consequences.  She voiced her opinion too to this one girl on how she saw the situation and how she was being treated (the 3rd wheel in most cases.  ignored).  Golden Rule Kids.... Treat others as you would want to be treated.  This is something these kids don't do.  Its all about 1)who has the most Monster High Dolls.
2) who has the newest MH doll
3) who can spend the night the most
4) who has a cell phone

As a mom, I look at what is going on and have to make a decision.  Do I butt in? Do I rescue her?  Do I let it play out?   I hope I have armed her with enough common sense to do the right thing.  I need to make sure there is chocolate in the house to help mend some wounds.

We LIVE Hockey.. its Buffalo!!

Me and the girl child at a Sabre's hockey game.  This is something I am very fortunate to be able to do for her. I won the tickets and when I can win them, I take her.  I never went to a hockey game as a kid because the tickets were so expensive.  So are these ones.  There is NO WAY I'd buy tickets to see a game in the seats we have (they are really nice seats... just about center ice).  

But what kills me is the price of the food.  $4 for just about all the food and pop.  $4 for a freaking bottle of pop.  Really?  But hey..  I take her maybe once or twice a season so I will splurge on it.  But anyone who has season tickets...  how the heck can you afford to eat there?

And parking????  $15 -$20 for parking right near the arena.  You can chance it by parking near the arena on the side streets but with the recent snow, that was going to be a challenge.  So our other option was to park further North near the convention center and either park free on the street on in the ramp. We had to go with the ramp because all the free parking was taken (Auto show was going on too!).  $5 for parking isn't so bad.  And we got to take the train down which is always an adventure for the kiddo.  

All in all, we had a good night.  Girls night at the Hockey game.  Now, we defrost. Its cold out there!

maybe?

We are looking for a dog.  Why?  It's time.  And we found a little guy who melted our hearts.  His name is Barley.  He's a pup still so size is a question.  He won't be huge, but its a mystery still.  Now..  we don't have him.  There is a process we have to follow but we were lucky to meet him in person.  He gave the sweetest puppy kisses.  And how could you abandon this?

People amaze me as to how stupid they can be.

Regardless... Erin is in love with him and is really trying to grasp we MAY NOT be the right fit for Barley.  Trying to get her to understand we have to do what is best for the dog is a challenge.  She wanted to take him home last Saturday and was ready to cry when someone else was looking at him.  We have talked to her and she "says" she understands and there will be a dog out there for us.  But she wants him.

The cats know something is afoot.  We cleared out a spot next to my chair and placed a blanket with some dog toys.  They sniffed.. but left it alone.  The funny thing was were petting a bunch of dogs on Saturday and when we came home... the cats insisted on laying on us.  Reclaiming us apparently.

If this little guy does join our family, we'll be very happy and lucky.  But if its not a good fit, I really hope he finds a good forever home.  

How a Watch means Freedom

I posted this to Free Range Kids..  because I believe Kids should have freedom

My 8 year old daughter is one of a few kids in the neighborhood.  We're a "city" residential area so the streets are connected.  There are 2 girls her age on the street and one on the street behind.  Its spring.  I don't want them in the house...  so I kicked them out.  Here we have 4 maybe 6 girls in the house.  It makes my head hurt. They were even bored.  So I made my kid a deal.  If she has a watch on she can go.  No watch, no leaving the yard.  Go to the other kid's house, go to the park (its around the corner and just behind her one friend's house).... GO!  Be home at whatever time I say (dinner, street lights.. whatever).  She knows the rules and did get me when there was a problem.  She looks both ways to cross the street (several times in fact) and asks to pet a dog. They are even trying to dig to China from what I hear... and open a bug exhibit.  

I trust her in this small radius as she's 8.  Its a big step for her.  I used to run around our street when I was her age.  As long as she checks in.. we're good.   Kids should be kids.

a year

I took this photo in October of 2009. She wanted to get an apple from the top.

This is October 2010....  still climbing...

croup

The kiddo awoke yesterday with a panic.  She gets that tone in her whiny cry for me.   Then I heard it.  The tell tale Seal Bark.  Croup.

Here I was hoping she would out-grow it but no.  She will be 8 in a mere 5 days.  And she gets Croup.

Now the logical side of me says "the likely cause was this weekend's event.  Lots of people, lots of germs.  No biggie, monitor for fever and keep tabs on the cough.  Steam then cold. And make sure she naps".

The other side went "crap crap crap!!!!!!  She has 2 swim things this weekend.. this is gonna break her heart!  crap crap crap".

Well needless to say, she immediately crawled into bed with me and fell asleep for like an hour.  This is good.  There was no lack of appetite and no fever.  Just the cough and runny nose.  Steam came that afternoon and then we ventured out to Target and the pet store (present for friend and a replacement Hamster ball.  poor steve is going crazy).

The cough lessened.  Now, I am sick.  I could tell exactly when I got it and I hate that feeling.  Mrrrrrrrr.  Flying with a cold sucks.  Having to meet with a client under those circumstances sucks more.

Coffee and rest are in order for me today (even tough I am at work, I am resting..  its not like I have move around a whole lot at my desk).  Speaking of coffee.. I am broken.  I need to fix that.

Cutting the line

we went to the Caz Carnival. Erin loved the slide. She always had. Heck, we even went on the Gravitron together. Yes.. she's 6. She's already a ride freak.

So, here she is cutting the line.

Apple picking

SDC10055
Originally uploaded by melblackrose

I'm just getting around to this now. Erin and I went apple picking last weekend at a lovely farm. A real farm. With turkeys, goats, cows and dog. And a real barn. A working farm. And the apples were incredible. We were actually able to PICK the apples. In years past we had gone to another farm and well, lets just say the apples were less than appealing and we ended up buying them already picked. At this NEW farm, you picked until you were done, got them weighed and you can take as many as you want!

We came away with 43 lbs of apples, 2 pumpkins, 6 gourds and some cider for hubby. $34! That was it. They also had the most beautiful antique pumpkins I'd ever seen. The regular pumpkins were also perfect. I'm serious. These pumpkins were round and had very few blemishes. They looked like storybook pumpkins.

I wish I had bought more but there was no way I could do it with just me and her there. So 2 was the limit.




All in all, it was a wonderful day and would share an apple with my girl again.

Happy Wet kid

Happy Wet kid
Originally uploaded by melblackrose

We had to get a new pool today since froggy is dead. While at the store we ended up getting a new suit...

I managed to find a Yellow Polkadot 2 piece for like $7. We cracked it open as soon as we came home.

a lot can happen in a year

All I can say is wow.

Week one of day camp is done and she loves it. The counselors love her for the entertainment and she is well behaved.

Swimming - she JUMPED in the pool, went under the water and didn't freak. She repeatedly went under the water even with her eyes open.

Dinner - manners and she ate. Thats all I care about right now.

Shopping -No whining in the toy store. In the bookstore, she was polite, helped a little girl, gave the little girl the book she was reading so she wouldn't have to walk over to get another one. The dad stopped me and said what a polite and nice girl she was. They are used to seeing the snotty, bratty, pisspots and Erin was "perfect". In reward, she got 2 more books. They are books!! Not toys.

Going home - there was a DWI check on the way home and she was patient and didn't get freaked by the cop.

Home - no issue going to bed - story and 3 songs. No whining.

Last year, she was dealing with temper tantrums, fits, ODD type behavior and not dealing well with me leaving. Now, she's a different kid. She's not perfect but today was ideal. Thank you school for discipline. Thank you YMCA for letting her be a kid for the summer.

day 3 of Camp and game 3

So far, so good. Three full days of swimming, running, playing and she's pooped. Not to mention she has soccer on top of it. Yesterday we ran from Camp to practice and today to the Game. I hate eating this much fast food.

She was a little nervous the first day (to the point of throwing up) since she wasn't sure if she'd know anyone or how she'd be in the pool. That crisis was averted as soon as we got there. Two of her classmates were there so her comfort level rose. No problems at all.

Today she had a little accident but nothing big and the staff loves her (so they say). We'll see how it goes. Tomorrow is the first field trip to a skate rink, something she has never done. I expect to see bruises. Eh... its summer so she should have bruises.

We had a soccer game today and they won again for the 2nd week (wait, we're not supposed to keep score.. ha!). She is getting better about staying on the field. Her complaint is that the boys don't pass the ball and they keep stealing it from her. I don't blame her. She understands the rules of the game and really wants all the other kids to play like her. We saw some pretty good moves out there today and its so much fun watching the cluster of color moving up and down the field. They all kept tripping today too so next game we'll have a med kit to be sure the knees get band-aids as soon as possible.

One more day till Friday and then a mini vacation.... COME ON FRIDAY!!

turning a corner

For those who care, the 5 year old has turned a corner. The issues have subsided to a normal 5 year old level and we're still getting the swing of school rules all the time, not some of the time.

The Reds are way fewer and she's not totally loosing it. She's taking the Oranges better and learning from the Yellows.

My thoughts on this? Her frustration level is lower and comprehension is up. Her vocabulary is much better and can articulate what is pissing her off. And Catholic School is good. We LOVE Catholic School.

I've been hesitating on posting this for fear that the minute I say its good, it turns back to bad. But ya know, she's trying and thats all I can ask for.